112 Weddings and My Happy Marriage

A good documentary film is a joy and Doug Block’s 112 Weddings for HBO and BBC is one of them. 112 premiered June 30th. My husband, Ray Gordon and I recommend it.

We should all be grateful to the couples that openly shared their stories, some very painful, for the film.

Doug Block has gathered tips and insights looking at wedding days and interviews five to 19 years later. There is also the fun of being able to see the bits of wedding preparation and ceremonies.

Wherever you are on the path of marriage, this well-made film should offer value and enjoyment.

For Doug Block, it is a major home-run. One reviewer said they wondered why someone else didn’t think of it first. A documentary film-maker, Block filmed weddings on the side for financial support. The wedding clips were already “in the can”. Then he began a project to contact and film follow-up interviews with couples who agreed to it. Only 10% of the couples he contacted had gotten divorced, significantly better than the national average of 50%.

We particularly liked the couple, Janice and Alexander, that had a partnership ceremony and then finally a wedding 13 years later. Their partnership ceremony is pictured here.

Ray and I have one of those rather rare very happy marriages. Communication and common interests seem key to me. I credit Landmark’s* two-day intensive communication course that we took together before we got married for starting us out on the right foot. Being able to observe that arguments are caused by simply wanting to be right has allowed us to resolve them quickly, often with humor. We will be married 21 years this December. I acknowledge Werner Erhard and est, the precursor to Landmark at the end of this article.

Ray Gordon and I Valentine’s Day 2014. The theme was prom night. Photo by Rob Guarrasi

We do have the advantage of being a second time around marriage, while the couples in the film were on their first marriage.

Some interesting articles about 112 Weddings

Good review by Mike Hale at the New York Times “With This Camera I Thee Shoot”
Interview with Doug Block by Reuters.
IMDB rating (Internet Movie Database)

For those that enjoy and use social media:
Twitter: @112Weddings #112Weddings @DougBlock @HBO
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/112Weddings

Landmark trainings originated with est, created by Werner Erhard

I participated in a number of est trainings including the Six Day and PNE as well as evening seminars like “About Sex” and “About Money” first in the 70’s in San Francisco. I acknowledge Werner Erhard for giving me tools to appreciate my life, recognize my power and succeed in marriage. Of course, I most strongly acknowledge my wonderful, smart, witty husband, who I met playing tennis in 1992, for my happy marriage. His willingness to do the Landmark Communication Course with me (and the basic training prep for it) was an excellent sign of what a great husband he would turn out to be.

There was a one-day celebration called “relationships” directly with Werner Erhard in San Francisco. Werner read my still favorite poem by E.E. Cummings: “i carry your heart with me”

“i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)”
source: PoetryFoundation.org

John Denver’s song “Looking for Space” was written in appreciation of the est trainings.

From Looking for Space:

“When you’re looking for space
And to find out who you are
When you’re looking to try and reach the stars
It’s a sweet, sweet sweet dream
Sometimes I’m almost there
Sometimes I fly like an eagle
But sometimes I’m deep in despair
Sometimes I fly like an eagle,
like an eagle
I go flying” John Denver